I woke up to an email that put me in a bad mood. The contents of the email don't really matter but it was kind of one of those things that you can't help but read into. It's weird how sometimes it feels like the universe is literally working aganist you or just telling you that a path is not an option. I don't like feeling limited but I guess I should just reframe these feelings. Like seeing a limitation as some sort of blessing. I'm sure I won't even remember this email in a few months from now.
I dropped off some laundry – still a bit grumpy as I made breakfast.
Here I am climbing the other day at the gym. I can't say I'm very good. I'm kind of embarrassed to put this on my website.
I've really enjoyed climbing over the last year. It's one of those things that has been a constant. I'm grateful for my Rotterdam friends that got me excited about the sport. I used to see climbing in a very different light. Now I just see it as this dance form for the mind + body.
I had a grand plan for this page but it's taken a different turn. I looked through my camera roll and picked a bunch of images that I thought I could put here but only two made it.
Life is funny. Sometimes I feel like the unvierse/god is literally laughing at me so I'm trying to see the humor in things more often. I've started to literally laugh out loud when something doesn't go as planned. I'm pretty sure I will look back on this time and think, wow that was a wild place in your life but you made it through.
Since my last relationship ended I haven't really felt back to normal. I think I've just transferred some deeper issues onto that relationship so it feels more present.
I've dated a few people since but things always feel a little out of tune. It's cool how clear the universe has been but at the same time I still feel stuck. Stuck in New York, in older patterns, in not being able to move forward.
As much as things sometimes feel the same, I do think I've grown a lot over this year. I've realized I'm actually very interested in movement (whatever that means). I realized that I can be very social when the enviorment feels supportive. I realized that I can talk to almost anyone and that I am often very open and accepting. I've also realized that I've often been in relationships for superfical reasons. I also realized that I'm a commited and serious partner and that's somewhat unique.
I'm ready to move on but the universe seems to be saying that I should stay a bit longer and look inwardly.